the walk home

[Zeik Blaine]

i walk out of her room
closing the door behind
she didn't even stop me
thats how bad it hurts

i hit the elevator button
waiting on the couch patiently
going over what just happend in my mind
shocked and hurt

going down the elevator
a couple talks romantically
floor 1 comes and it hits me again
walk out the door and hits me again

reading every lamp post that lines the way
recounting every moment on the 11th scandal
walked slowly through the cold weather
reaching the red 1 stop....i wait

walk onto the shitty bus
pace myself to the back
watching the eyes around me
grasp a bar and again,...recount the memories

the crowded bus starts its pace
the gas pushes us forward
i feel deserted
i see nothing but a screw in the wall

the overcrowded shouting came out as silence
paying no attention to anyone, but the wall
recounting the events again the has just past
the bus stops and i walk away....alone

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looking closer....

[Hannibal]

All of these 3 are quite rash, including your journal-like entry. Which I suppose is a good thing, to get the emotion out, but I think a revision is in order. Your feelings jumped, just like your ideas and thoughts, and it showed in these 3 works... with some sifting, and adding and editing, these could be real contenders. But they need work.
I know why you wrote these, and I was sorry to hear about it...
But think constructively on what you've written and work it out.
Could be awesome.
keep writing.


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As miserable as life may be I hold it pretty precious...

If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light. If I lose paper and ink, I wil write in blood on forgotten walls. I will write always, I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you.
Word And Voice
Motocross Fanatics
General Philosophy